Khutso Mokgehle
17 Feb

By Khutso Mokgehle

If you have addressed young people on sexual purity, you have probably heard this question before: How far is too far?

Keep a safe distance!

One of my favourite lines in the Lord's prayer is, "lead us not into temptations", Matthew 6:13. I love how Jesus Christ is not telling us that we should pray that we do not sin but rather, be led away from temptations. 

Christ Himself, the author and finisher of our faith is giving us a life lesson in this prayer, the importance of being in a place where you are as far from temptations as possible. Why is that so? That is the question we should ask ourselves and also answer it honestly. When you are in the territory of temptations it is much easier to sin, so you must stay away from places of compromise, places of danger and that is territories of sin.

Everyone believes they are strong until they fall. It is through falling that we realise that we are not that strong or as immune to sin as we thought we were. We are actually vulnerable, that is why prevention is better than cure. 

A sexually pure lifestyle

If you want to live a sexually pure life, you need to be intentional about it. Therefore, you need to create boundaries that are stringent and let everyone around you know about it. You are not being extreme; you are being smart.

Normally, the 'how far is too far' question comes when someone wants to compromise or lower the standards of their boundaries but need affirmation from someone in a place of authority. So, the question is basically seeking validation to be closer to the sin. 

However, for someone who is genuinely asking the question, I will give my list of what I perceive to be too far.

  1. Never be with someone of the opposite sex in a secluded place, room or car.
  2. Avoid late night calls with someone of the opposite sex.
  3. Avoid PDA (public display of affection), this might look very innocent, but sexual feelings are fickle.

I could add to this list, but using this as a benchmark will enable you to formulate more boundaries that will not keep you away from sin, but will lead you away from temptation. 

When I was single sister pursuing purity, one of my favourite scripture was:

"Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts." 2 Tim 2:22

The Word of God is advising us to run away from the stimulant, not from sin itself. So, this is anything that can evoke the sin, hence the question "how far is too far" should be an indicator that something is about to get out of control. 

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